Nobody puts baillee in the corner

This year has probably been one of the hardest so far because there are so many good things I want to share with KP. 

I want to share how I’ve cultivated insanely strong friendships with new friends and strengthened the hell out of all my existing friendships. 

I’ve started being bold enough to go for the things I want. 

I’ve reignited my passion for fashion. 

I’ve stopped letting myself be so afraid. 

I’ve been able to make some of my childhood dreams come true.

I’ve had opportunities beyond my wildest dreams. 

And all I want to do is share everything with her. 

Because I would’ve never gotten to this point if it wasn’t for her. 

She taught me to be bold and fearless. 

She taught me I had endless potential. 

She taught me everything I needed to get to where I am. 

And it’s devastating that she doesn’t get to see where it’s led me (so far). 

I could shake my fist and curse at the sky or curl up on the couch and hide away from the world, but I know she wouldn’t want that for me. 

Instead, I choose to put on my red lipstick and go to Terror Tuesday. And go on day trips. And try out new places. 

I live the way KP would want me to live. 

She would want me to do the things that make my heart full like playing with my friends’ kids and laughing so hard in public that my cheeks hurt when I get home. 

She’d want me to go see Hilary Duff because she’s the one who bought me all the magazines I got the posters from. 

She’d want me to measure my success by my friendships and my confidence and my creativity. 

She’d love all of my matching sets and earrings and platform shoes. 

She’d be jealous that I get to see Kesha and would be sending me lyrics from her Rainbow album. 

So, that’s why I’ve been choosing to live big. 

Because I’m living for the both of us. 

For KP. For always. 🖤