Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Today’s entry takes us all the way back to 2018, which also marks the next-to-last time I had any sort of extended stint on dating apps. I affectionately refer to this phase of my life as my “Baby Slut” phase, as an homage to the shirt Titus wore to get Mikey’s attention on Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.

Pictured: The aforementioned shirt 

Yes, friends, this may be shocking to hear, but ya girl went through a big hookup phase in her mid-20s. 

In fact, another story will also be pulled from this same period (and is somehow yet another crossover). 

During a round of late-ish night swiping, I matched with a guy we’ll call Peter. 

Peter seemed very nice and clever, and I was getting over a situation we have yet to talk about (it’s a two-part story that I’m still not quite ready to share), so I was looking for an escape. 

He came over later that night, and I immediately knew, to quote Sam from A Cinderella Story, that this whole relationship was just better off in cyberspace. 

TL;DR – I wasn’t attracted to him in any way. 

But I did still fool around with him (I was insecure and in my early 20s, okay?), and, after he left, we chatted into the wee hours of the morning.

For the first few days, I tried to force myself into liking him, but then some red flags started popping up. 

Now, this is an example of where I’m going to insert my perspective and opinion because I don’t know what was in his head. 

I’d also like to point out that I’m no hero in this story, especially in the back half, just to be clear. 

I felt like he was lovebombing, and he came across as a bit of a mansplainer. 

There were times he told me about movies he liked that I’d never heard of, but then, he’d also try to explain all kinds of things about movies I had explicitly stated I loved. 

I was in a weird spot emotionally, though, so I tried to tell myself I was just being too picky. 

This leads us to the restaurant ordeal. 

If you know me at all, you know I absolutely DON’T tolerate anyone being rude to waitstaff. 

I don’t care how long we’ve been friends or dating; that’s 100% a deal-breaker for me. 

I’ve even publicly called out strangers in restaurants for their behavior. 

I digress. 

I was working downtown at the time, and Peter had the day off, so he met me for lunch. 

The first red flag of the day was the fact that he’d agreed to go to a restaurant I loved, only to tell me that he’d not only changed his mind and wanted to take me to a restaurant he loved, but also commented on my lack of knowledge of “good spots” in the city. 

The problem was the restaurant he took me to was super mid (at best), and the place I was referring to was actually really popular at the time. 

Plus, I only had an hour, so we needed to stay in the area, and this restaurant was a few blocks further than I wanted to go. 

To top it all off, I was starving, going to a concert that night, and had a very tight budget at the time, so I wasn’t super thrilled about the change. 

Should I have shared all of this with him? 100%. 

The bad news is, this happened back during my people-pleasing days, so I naturally kept my mouth shut. 

From the second we sat down at the restaurant, he was super rude to our server. I tried to ignore it, but the longer we were there, the worse it got. 

He commented on everything from how empty she’d let our glasses get to the amount of chips she brought to the table. 

Then, in the most embarrassing move of the date, he demanded our server run the tip and check together because he hated when the tip and check were run separately, and he was a server, so he knew it could be done the way he was asking. 

And again, the minute you’re rude to servers is the minute we’re donezo. 

After that night, I started being distant, and I should’ve just told him flat-out we were done. 

But, as you probably guessed, this was during my super cute, self-destructive drinking days, so I got super wasted and wound up texting him again. 

(These are the reasons I don’t drink anymore, people) 

The reception from him was initially lukewarm, but we talked through my being distant, and we started chatting again. 

After a few days (and the completion of my full douchebaggery by inviting him to my upcoming birthday festivities), I finally cut the cord and asked if he could meet me at a spot a few blocks over. 

I think he saw the writing on the wall and asked me to go ahead and say whatever I needed to say, and I told him that I just didn’t have the same feelings he did for me. 

I can’t quite remember if he responded (I don’t think he did), but either way, that night marked the end of Peter. 

Here’s the deal… 

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: 

If you know you don’t like someone, don’t string them along. 

I’ve been on both sides, and it sucks either way. 

I go back and forth on believing in love at first sight, but if you have absolutely no attraction to a person and are only seeing them for all the wrong reasons, cut them loose and give them a chance to find someone who feels the same way about them. 

Also, let this be a reminder not to be rude to your servers. 

I worked in the service industry for 10+ years, and I promise you that they’re trying their best. 

Also also, for the love of god, tip your servers. I feel like I shouldn’t have to say that, but judging by comments I overhear at the Drafthouse, some of y’all need to be reminded. 👀

Moving on. 

Peter, I don’t have a lot to say about our short time together, but I do appreciate you showing me Starstruck (the musical, not the DCOM).