Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Who was your first crush?

My first crush was probably Maria as played by Julie Andrews in The Sound of Music. It was my mother’s favorite movie. Funny, I never even knew about the second half of the movie for years because this was in the era when the VHS format reigned supreme and the movie came on two tapes; my mother thought the second half was too sad, so we never watched it. My first crush that wasn’t a fictional character played by a celebrity was a girl named Brittany in the 4th grade. Well, that’s not how it was spelled but there are so many variations on that point…I am pretty sure that was her name. We even became ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ for a brief time. The relationship (and the crush) ended abruptly one day near Christmas break in science class. We both had Tamagotchi Life Cycles and the one I was raising was over visiting hers. Class ended and she just got up and left. She didn’t give mine back! She refused to give it back all the way until school let out for break. Then she didn’t return to my school because her family moved and so I never got the Tamagotchi baby I was raising back.

What are your views on Tinder and other dating apps?

They are tools. Just as with anything in life I think that as long as you are abiding the ‘Golden Rule’ and moving closer to your goals then you’re doing well.

What was the best date you ever had?

Oh goodness! That is difficult. Honestly I feel like anytime Nessa (my fiancee) and I are in the car together with me driving and her DJ-ing I am on an awesome date. That all started back when we first started seeing one another. I was a broke college student and she was in her senior year of high school. We didn’t have any money to do more normal date-like things so we would just drive around talking and sharing music. I can’t really put a finger on the best date, but one that I will absolutely never forget is the first time we started what has become something of a tradition for us. We would start out with one of us picking a direction. Then every time we came to an intersection, fork-in-the-road, or something of the sort we would alternate who picked the way we went. Once we go on until we figure we’re halfway through the drive we try and navigate our way back. This particular night we went down roads I had never been on despite having grown up in the area. Sharing the decision making for our immediate future and then sharing in solving the riddle of how lost we became…we made a great team. Still do.

What was the worst date you ever had?

The worst date I ever had was when I had spent a lot of effort getting the perfect chain of events style date together. We were doing her favorite things and then when we got to the place where her friends were going to join in at a local concert…she broke up with me in front of her friends saying something coldly nonchalant like, “we’re done.”

How would you describe heart break?

Sinking squeezing ache in the chest. The feeling is strong and continuous and seems as if you are leaking out but as if it isn’t going to end. Compounding the undesirability of the situation is that the feeling is so strong that it grows a sense of alienation from the world.

Have you ever been in love?

YES! And it is my to my continuous profound delight and honor that I can say that I still am in love with Nessa. Six years and I just get deeper in love with her everyday.

What does love mean to you?

I realize that my response to the question “Have you ever been in love?” was brief. The reason is that I saw the question “What does love mean to you?” and the two can be answered best if I may share a bit of conversation between Nessa and myself. Nessa texted me one day and asked the question, “Love. What is a favorite memory of us you have?” Being tired from the cumulative effects of successive night shifts I answered with unerring truth in my often times wordy way, the following: “Darling, there is no way to pick a singular favorite. I love, delight, and cherish all of you and us. You are all that is right and good in my existence. So exquisitely complex a bouquet of emotion and experience that it surpasses my ability to encompass. My everlasting joy with you is to grow to be ever more able to revel every sense in all that is us…is you. The greatest moments of my life are not of personal achievement as those are merely derivative of the truth. Every moment with you, in succession, is my greatest moment. Though so much more, your very presence is something I bask in for it is the sustenance of my soul of which you are half. Exactly half but not discrete in its measurement, rather I know it through the intrinsic multitudinous bonds that connect us. I cannot point to where I end and you begin because we are two as one. I love you. In all uses and applications of that simple phrase does it ring true throughout my being, its tones harmonizing into the sound of your voice.”

What goes through your head when you first realize you have feelings for someone?

Surprise. My knee-jerk reaction is then to ponder why I have feelings for that someone. I have most often found that the reason is that their conversation resonated within me.

What is the first trait that attracts you to someone?

Aside from the initial physical attraction the first thing that attracts me to someone is how I feel in their presence. I typically feel very drained from prolonged interaction. When the opposite happens it is alluring.

What is your break up routine?

I bury myself in work and hobbies until I am focused on those things to the exclusion of all else. By the time I come out of that frenzy of work while I might not be over the break up I am in a place to get over it.

Do you think it’s possible to love two people at the same time?

I think that it may be possible. However, for me that is just a theoretical as I have never been in love with two people at the same time in a romantic manner. Personally the more I fall in love with Nessa the more I find that I the very concept of loving anyone else just doesn’t enter my mind.

What advice do you have for someone who has never been in love?

In a nutshell, be open to the possibility. Don’t try to force it and don’t write it off as ‘never going to happen.’ Be true to yourself. This is important because if you don’t know who and where you are then you will have difficulty building love with another.