Nobody puts baillee in the corner

At work, we have a running bit (for lack of a better word) about biggest fears. I usually say appendicitis, which is absolutely one of my biggest fears, but it’s not the biggest. My biggest fear is people only love the good parts of me, and they can’t handle/don’t want to deal with the bad…

Spoiler: this blog post doesn’t have a happy ending. There is no moment of clarity. There is no “but it’s okay.” Because I’m not. I’m not okay.  Everyone has been asking me that question, and I don’t know how to answer. I’m angry because my dad is dying, and there isn’t a goddamn thing I…

Do you ever just want to be better? Like full Legally Blonde, “Watch Me Shine” montage better? That’s how I’ve been feeling lately. I’ve been feeling like a slightly inferior friend, daughter, an inferior This is Us fan (and if anyone tells me what the significance of the crock pot is before I get caught up,…

99% of the time I help others. I have helped people move countless apartments. I have been the crying shoulder and voice of reason. Heck, I’ve even made many a Halloween costume. Today, I’m helping someone I often neglect: myself. I’ve been in a hole for a couple of months now, and I’m ready for…

03/06/2018 That’s the day I tried to self-harm for the first time in eight years, and I was able to stop myself. I don’t say this to cause any alarm or worry; I say this simply because it’s true. (And yes, I’m seeking out a therapist and everything, so don’t get caught up in those…