Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I don’t know what in the subconsciousness is happening this year, dear readers, but this story is both from 2019 AND is a crossover. 

I swear to you that none of this was planned. 

But here we are, and here we go. 

As I mentioned in an earlier entry, the next-to-last big stint I did with dating apps was in 2018.  

Jacob marks the last big stint I did with dating apps, period. 

The year was 2019, and, as we’ve all come to realize, I had a lot going on. 

(To give you a sense of the timeline, this was post-Jack but still during Austin) 

Jacob and I matched on Bumble, and I did genuinely like him.

He was cute, funny, smart, and we had a lot of similar interests. 

But, something in my gut tried to tell me that things weren’t quite right from the get-go. 

Now, in Jacob’s defense, I should’ve clocked that he wasn’t looking for a serious relationship, but, at the same time, he should’ve been more honest with me. 

Don’t worry, we’ll get there. 

For our first date, Jacob came over to my place for a movie night, where I picked my old standby of Jason X. 

(Also, if this story is starting to sound familiar, this is the infamous date from the Austin entry, where Austin watched TV loudly in his bedroom) 

Jacob asked how long Austin and I were together, and I told him we’d never dated (but strategically left out the part about our relationship being complicated) 

The rest of our date went really well, so we kissed goodnight and started talking regularly. 

We hung out again a few days later, when we grabbed dinner, then went back to my place and fooled around. 

And, y’all, how do I put this delicately?

Let’s just say a very, very, very good time was had. 

Like, When Harry Met Sally good (but genuine). 

I would also like to mention for your entertainment that, at one point, I accidentally yeeted myself into the floor.

I thought I heard Austin coming in, so in trying to move to the other side of the couch and stop straddling Jacob (we were heavily making out), I lost my balance and busted my ass. 

Moving on. 

Once things were done, instead of smoking the proverbial cigarette, Jacob and I talked through where we wanted to go from here. 

You see, he’d just gotten out of a six-year-long relationship, so he didn’t want to jump into anything, which I absolutely understood. 

I told him that I was willing to take things slow, but my only request was that we be exclusive. 

He agreed, and we made plans for the following week. 

Everything seemed good, and he kissed me goodbye and left. 

I’ll admit that the next day I did come in a little hot because I got him a Creature from the Black Lagoon figure from the local toy store next to where I worked, and I had added a little black heart next to his name (I wasn’t in love with him, obviously, or this entire series wouldn’t exist). 

I should’ve 100% chilled and played it a bit cool. 

However, Jacob should’ve also not agreed to be exclusive the night before. 

I bet you can see where this is going. 

Jacob didn’t respond to my texts all day and hit me with a, “Hey, are you home from work?” later that afternoon. 

Austin had offered to pick me up from work, and when I told him about the text from Jacob, he said he was sure it wasn’t anything bad. 

Spoiler: It was bad.  

Jacob asked if he could call, and when I agreed, he told me that he wasn’t comfortable with us being exclusive because it felt like he was hopping into another relationship. 

He also mentioned we could still hang out the following week, but he didn’t think we should fool around or sleep together (we’d planned to finish what we’d started). 

I hung up the phone and immediately burst into tears, as Austin scooped me up and held me while I bawled. 

I can’t confirm it, but to this day, I swear that Austin looked relieved. 

I then did what I did best during these years and proceeded to drink my dinner. 

Austin texted Heather, who came over to check on me (and also watch the GoT finale with Austin). 

I continued to drink, and I wound up backsliding so hard that I DMed Trevor, where I told him I hoped he was doing well and apologized for ghosting him. 

Again, there’s a reason why I don’t drink anymore. 

I also decided to choose violence and send Jacob a text telling him how he should’ve been honest with me the night before (which is fine) but then proceeded to go off about how much of an asshole he was for leading me on (which was clearly less fine) before blocking his number. 

I’ll say this… 

I don’t think either of us were bad people in this situation, but I also don’t think either of us were innocent. 

Jacob should’ve never agreed to be exclusive if he knew that wasn’t what he wanted. 

I even asked him if he was cool with our arrangement a couple of times throughout the conversation. 

However, he did have on his profile that he was looking for casual dating and mentioned hangs with other people a couple of times, so I should’ve seen the writing on the wall. 

I also did get too eager with the toy and mentioning the little heart emoji, and I shouldn’t have sent him the nasty text that I did. 

TL;DR – I don’t think he’s a bad guy; I just think neither one of us were in the place to be seeing each other. 

Jacob, I hope you’re doing well, and thank you for once again proving my theory that Jason X is an X-cellent pull for dates.