Nobody puts baillee in the corner

The year was 2006. 

Pop punk was in its prime. 

I had a bleach blonde pixie cut, a la Natalie Maines in The Chicks. 

Life was good. 

And friends, this was the year I almost bagged my first boyfriend. 

Notice the almost. 

Noah was a year older than me, and we were in band together. 

He was really nice, and we were not only in the same section, but we started running in the same circles. 

The summer between my freshman and sophomore years, my friends and I spent countless hours in Noah’s pool, and he and I started to get close. 

It was clear we liked each other, so I was waiting for him to ask me out. 

Then, after a while, something started to shift. 

Noah started hanging out with another girl, let’s call her Nadia, and, eventually, they started dating. 

Naturally, I was devastated, and I didn’t understand what happened. 

A few weeks into Noah and Nadia dating, I was scouring the makeup section at a certain superstore with my childhood best friend. Let’s call her Luanne. 

As we looked at lipsticks, Luanne turned to me and said, “Hey, Bay, I have to tell you something.” 

I figured it was something harmless, so I asked her what was up. 

Luanne proceeded to tell me that Noah had come to her a few weeks prior and asked if I liked him because he wanted to ask me out…

…and knowing I did, Luanne told him I didn’t because she didn’t want me to have a boyfriend before her. 

Yes, I’m serious. 

I pretended like I was fine, but my heart was breaking. 

Not only had I been robbed of my chance with Noah, but my best friend was the one who robbed me of it. 

Luanne would continue to apologize to me for it for the duration of our teen years, but the damage was already done. 

Nadia and Noah dated off and on throughout the rest of high school, and it created a big rivalry between Nadia and me. 

It also created a semi-toxic relationship between Noah and me. 

Nadia and I both talked behind each other’s backs, but I do want to go on the record about one thing… 

Nadia, I have no clue what Noah told you I said at that ill-fated New Year’s Eve party, but I swear to you on my mother’s ashes, I didn’t say a word about you. 

I think that he either misheard something I said or heard something one of the other girls I was talking to in the bathroom said and made an assumption. 

Either way, he shouldn’t have pitted us against each other like that, and I understand why you reacted the way you did. 

We both said some nasty things to each other, and I forgive you for what you said to me, but I wasn’t lying to you when I said I didn’t say anything about you at that party. 

I digress. 

As I mentioned, Noah’s and my friendship became toxic, particularly for the duration of high school.

We did stay friends into the first couple of years of college, but there were times when Noah made fun of me behind my back when I started gaining weight while in recovery from my EDs, and I also cussed him out on multiple occasions for very silly things. 

His dad also told me on multiple occasions that he wished Noah was dating me instead of whoever he was dating at the time, and that wasn’t fair to anyone involved. 

Noah and I drifted apart around my junior year of college, and he unfriended me on social media around the time I came out. 

I believe he’s a preacher or pastor now, but I’m not 100% sure. 

Noah, I hope that if you did go into some sort of religious field, you belong to a church that teaches love, not hate. 

I’ll spare y’all a rant about religion here because I’ve been very vocal about where I stand in the past. 

I do look back fondly on that one summer that was full of chlorine and adolescent love. 

I remember how you showed me Smosh videos on a new site called YouTube. 

Hell, I even still have your brother’s band’s CD because it honestly rules. 

But, Noah, I do think we were destined to begin and end in the mid-aughts. 

Until next time, dear readers. 

RAWR XD