Nobody puts baillee in the corner

The charm of Chopping Mall lies in how painfully 80s it is. From the demonstration video to the its synth-heavy soundtrack, we never forget we’re deeply rooted in the 80s, where the mall was king. 

The fact that the line “nothing can go wrong” is uttered within the first five minutes only proves we’re in for a good time. 

Scream queens Kelli Maroney and Barbara Crampton are at the top of their game as they fight robots with CGI laser capabilities. 

The commentary on mall culture might not be as prevalent now, but as someone who grew up with trips to the mall as a treat, it still rings true. 

Also, Chopping Mall has some of the most absurd robot kills I’ve ever seen. Truly. One word: fire. 

There are obviously some things that don’t age particularly well, as is customary with all 80s slashers, so be warned going in. 

And with that, we’ll end it here.  Be wary of mall sleepovers, my friends.