Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Eek! It’s been so long since I’ve written a personal blog over here, so I feel like I should kick things off with an apology. I’m sorry, dear readers! Fortunately for you, I’ve been rewatching Awkward (it’s super problematic, but I’m on my ninth and final day of dog sitting/house sitting/watching multiple dogs, and I just finished a 16.5 page piece on Inside, so let me have this), and I’ve been inspired to write something a la Jenna’s blog.

If you haven’t been tuned in to the hellscape we’re living in, the world is casually on fire. I’m terrified I’m going to lose access to my birth control, and as a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I’m also terrified there will soon come a time I can’t marry a future partner. It’s terrifying, so here’s your daily and friendly reminder it’s okay to stop doomscrolling and do something that makes you happy just because.

I’m not sure if it’s the crazy busy past few days I’ve had, all of the awful things in the world, getting “older” (in the sense “my birthday is coming up” not “I’m old at the ripe age of 30”), or what, but I’ve been really, *sighs*, lonely. I hate feeling it more than you hate reading it, believe me. I realized the other day I haven’t dated anyone in over three years, and I haven’t even liked anyone in over two. Y I K E S.

As we all know, I absolutely, positively, fully, truly, madly, deeply, Savage Garden, hate online dating. My sister met my brother-in-law on one, and I know tons and tons of people who’ve had wonderful experiences – I, myself, haven’t had any issues finding someone to just hook up with or finding every jackass available (don’t even get me started on the man who suckled my ear) – BUT, I’ve never, ever, ever gotten anything good out of them.

I’m also so torn on trying to start anything because I’m a pretty busy broad. Also also, how do you even meet people anymore? Idk friends. Things are bonkers, and I feel weird thinking, “Yeah, this would be the time to start a relationship,” while simultaneously thinking, “Wow, I hate people.” Basically, I’m quirky and complicated aka I’m trying my best while our planet actually goes up in flame (and sometimes, my best is stress-ordering Taco Bell at 8:30PM on a weeknight, and we’re just not gonna talk about it).

All I can say for now is I’ll keep you posted, and pass the Tums.