Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Tw: eating disorders 

If you’ve been here before, you know we speak candidly here. If you’ve never been here before, hello! Just so you know, I speak very candidly here. 

For those who don’t know, I have been in recovery for EDs for about five or so years now, and I struggled with anorexia and workout bulimia all throughout high school, college, and a couple years after. I say I’m in recovery because, at least for me personally, I don’t think I’ll ever be fully rid of them; it’s something that lives in the back of my mind, and every day I don’t skip a meal or listen to the voice inside my head that tells me I need to start smoking again to decrease my appetite is a victory. That’s just the truth. I’m sharing all of this to give context to what I’m going to share today. 

This year, I’m dressing up as Elle Woods for Halloween. I had to buy my entire outfit because I own one pick t-shirt and one pink button down shirt, and that’s absolutely it. I found the perfect dress off Amazon, and I fell in with it. However, it’s a body con dress, and when I tried it on the other day, I almost convinced myself to return it and change my entire costume. 

I have cellulite and stretch marks and loose skin. My body isn’t perfect by a long shot, but usually, I’m pretty comfortable in my skin. For some reason though, this dress just really brought out my insecurities. I kept tugging at the bottom. I turned from side to side. I took picture after picture. I proactively thought of any insults that might be hurled my way. I sat on it all night. 

The next morning, I told myself to screw that. Screw if someone says something about my dress being too tight or my stomach not being flat enough. I’ve wanted to be Elle Woods for months, this dress is perfect, what does it matter? Nobody is perfect, and no body is perfect. That doesn’t mean we aren’t all beautiful though. So yeah, I’m gonna wear a tight dress. I’m gonna slap on a blonde wig. I’m also not going to give a single flip what anyone thinks. That’s what I’m going to challenge all of you to this weekend. Do one thing outside of your comfort zone (within reason, obviously). Wear something you’ve let sit in your closet. Try that new lipstick. Do the damn thing. That what Elle Woods would do.