Nobody puts baillee in the corner

From the open chord of Bowling for Soup’s cover of “Little Red Riding Hood” to the gratuitous low-rise jeans, this movie is so 2004 it hurts. However, the little winks to the horror genre and how everyone and their mother managed scored a part in this movie make it worth while. 

We start with a scene very reminiscent of the opening scene of Puppet Master where Mya and Shannon Elizabeth get their palms read by resident fortune teller Portia de Rossi. Portia naturally tells them she sees “so much blood,” and they’re both in danger. However, they don’t heed the warning, and Christina Ricci and Jessie Eisenberg try to save Shannon Elizabeth, only to end up bitten, while Shannon Elizabeth (and later on Mya) end up as werewolf chow. After realizing they’ve been marked, Christina and Jessie race against time to avoid becoming full-blown, furry killers with a lovely little twist to boot. 

Cursed is like a horror/early 2000s version of Mad Libs in the best possible way with an incredible view of the LA skyline that makes it look like a pentagram. Part The O.C, Part Teen Wolf, I think Cursed would paired beautifully with Ginger Snaps or The Faculty. (It’s not quite as cool as the latter, but I think they would balance each other out quite nicely). 

Cursed isn’t Craven and Williamson’s best, but if you’re a fan of theirs, you won’t care.  

I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the major catch though.

Unfortunately, like most movies from this time period, there are absolutely things I don’t condone, and they should have known better. We don’t stan making homosexuality a cheap punchline in this house. It would be much better without it, and even with lycanthropy being the major plot point, that plot point is what truly makes this movie Cursed.