Nobody puts baillee in the corner

It should come as absolutely no surprise that I’m a massive John Carpenter fan (I even have the Laurie Strode tattoo to prove it). I love Body Bags because it’s like the camp and twisted humor Tales from the Crypt found their way into an Adam Wingard joint that they let early Tim

Burton have major creative control with (especially with the hair aliens). It has that peak 90s anthology feel, and this movie has everyone from Twiggy to David Naughton (you even get the opportunity to see Robert Carradine aka Mr. McGuire himself be a psychopath). 

Body Bags consists of three main segments and a wraparound, where John Carpenter himself plays a weird and ironically undead mortician who guides us through each and every tale. First up, we have “The Gas Station,” where the overnight attendant is put through the ringer during her first night on the job. Secondly, we have “Hair,” where vanity gets the best of our protagonist, and, well, the consequences are out of this world. Lastly, we have “Eye,” where a poor Mark Hamill is the recipient of an eye transplant that, unfortunately, has some unforeseen side effects. 

If you’re going into Body Bags expecting The Thing or Halloween, I want to be clear that this is more of a beer and pizza movie or the kind of movie you’d watch on a weekend afternoon to distract yourself from the Sunday Scaries. It isn’t a cinematic masterpiece, but it knows as much. If you’re looking for a fun time with a boatload of celebrities, a formaldehyde-chugging horror director, and Easter eggs such as a character asking another if they’re from Haddonfield, you’ve come to the right place, so just zip yourself in for a treat. 

Body Bags is now streaming on Tubi and Peacock.