Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I’m going to start this blog post off with a couple disclaimers. I’m only covering DCOMs, which don’t including classics like Hocus Pocus (I have a tattoo on my thigh, so I think I’ve proved my dedication and earned my broom). Also, I’m excluding the Wonderful World of Disney joints (I still don’t fully understand why things like Tower of Terror and H-E Double Hockey Sticks aren’t DCOMs). Now with all of the particulars out of the way, let’s get down to my top five, absolute favorite, spoopy/spoopy-adjacent DCOMs of all time! 

Mom’s Got a Date with a Vampire (2000): You have Caroline Rhea, Charles Shaughnessy, and Robert Carradine as our relatable yet perfectly cheesy adult characters. Pair that with the likes of Laura Vandervoort, Jake Epstein (aka Craig Manning), and you have my attention. Any movie with Aunt Hilda, Mr. Sheffield, and Mr. McGuire has my blessing. Don’t forget to sprinkle in the DCOM classic trope of a spontaneous musical number (in this case, it’s Caroline Rhea at a Rockabilly club she used to frequent), and, oh yeah, the entire premise of Charles Shaughnessy playing a vampire who is trying to woo single mom Caroline Rhea while simultaneously trying to outsmart her kids and Carradine’s vampire  hunter, Malachi Van Helsing, and I approve this message. There are also some prime CGI bat effects that will leave you screaming…”Oh my god, this was filmed in 2000!”

Halloweentown (1998)/Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge (2001): These are a given, but I can only support the first two. You have witches and warlocks and puberty, and it’s perfect. In the first Halloweentown, the Cromwell matriarchs get turned into creepy, wax-like movie theater patrons. In Halloweentown II: Kalabar’s Revenge, not only do humans get turned into their customs, but Marnie calls Kal “chocolate bar” as an insult. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to perform spells in my living room as a result of these movies, so don’t *cast* them aside. 

Don’t Look Under the Bed (1999)– Okay, the entire premise is GENIUS. Forgotten imaginary friends evolve into a bogey person? This has introductory horror written all over it. It doesn’t go without the Disney touch of sentimentality and notes of a Bildungsroman, but it honestly all works. It has heart but still manages to make you think twice before growing up. The friends may be imaginary, but the nostalgia and storyline are for real.

Can of Worms (1999)– I want to personally congratulate Erika Christensen’s Katelyn Sandman for not giving into peer pressure and choosing to finally believe in tech wiz (and somehow teen outcast?) Michael Schulman’s Mike Pillsbury after a jerky jock sabotages Mike’s badass Halloween display at the dance, causing Mike to accidentally send out a distress message across the galaxy. Mike attracts a variety of colorful aliens, ranging from the adorable and admirable Barnabus the dog (who uses a speaker box collar to communicate) to the disgusting Bom, who looks like a wad of phlegm got ahold of some Mr. Potato parts. Soon, Mike and co have to prevent intergalactic warfare, and Mike finds out he belongs after all. Like Don’t Look Under the Bed, Can of Worms has a lot of heart but also provides a fun sci fi flick that I’m happy to let invade my TV any time. 

Under Wraps (1997)– (For some reason, Under Wraps isn’t on Disney+, but fortunately, the entire movie is on YouTube). Under Wraps was one of my ultimate favorites as a kid. For starters, the opening credits are like an ancient Egyptian take on the open credits for Romy and Michele’s High School Reunion, which already scores major brownie points with me, but I digress. Under Wraps gives young horror aficionado Marshall and his two pals, Amy and Gilbert, the chance to kick it with a real mummy while trying to reunite him with his one true love. Under Wraps also manages to reference not only The Sound of Music but HeeHaw, and the Gilmore Girl-esque quirk makes the fact that Gilbert is played by Adam Wylie, who also played Brad on Gilmore Girls, more of a treat than a trick. There’s still some cheese with Harold the mummy’s love story, which leads Marshall to approve of his mom’s new boyfriend, but out of all of the DCOMs we’ve talked about, it’s the least Disney-like, and I think that’s what made it stand out to me so much during my childhood. Regardless, Under Wraps is quintessential viewing and shouldn’t be covered