Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I never thought I would cry as hard as I did today during The Final Girls. I never thought I would have to face my own mother’s mortality like Max does. I never thought I would have to come to terms with only having videos and memories. I always forget how much I love this movie until I rewatch it, but this time really, really got me. 

If you don’t know, my mom has stage IV liver and colon cancer. She’s kicking cancer’s ass in a way only she could, and she’s been astounding doctors since she started chemo. She still has so much live left inside her that some days, it’s easy to forget she’s sick. Like Amanda, she loves to drink soda and sing along to the radio (especially to Miley Cyrus’s Bangerz). She genuinely cares about people, and she radiates the most positive energy you’ve ever felt. She would also sacrifice herself for me in a heartbeat to “Bette Davis Eyes.” 

I can’t fully describe what it’s like knowing your mom is going to die because of something totally out of your control, but I can tell you it makes every single moment precious. Every morning cup of coffee, every hug, every silly joke. You can’t use a flashback to stall the inevitable. You can’t try to fight the villain in the final showdown. You can’t hope you’ll show back up in the sequel. 

Once the credits roll, it’s over; there’s only a black screen staring back at you, so you have to enjoy every reel while you can. Enjoy the laughter and the tears and the unnecessary dialogue while you can. That’s what I plan to do.

The End.