Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I have been in a total rut lately. I haven’t been able to get my footing with the holidays and a new job and having long hair for the first time in six years. Things are wild around these parts, but for the first time tonight, I got to sit down with some Indian takeout and watch the one movie no one would believe I haven’t watched yet: Dumplin’. 

Yes, Dumplin’, THE tribute to my precious Dolly. As in my queen. As in the country goddess I have been planning a tattoo of for years. As in the bodacious blonde I worship every day. (I’m done for now). 

Honestly though, I think I needed to wait until this very moment to watch this very movie. I needed some reminders, and in the grand tradition of this blog, my dear readers, I’ll share them with you. 

1. Leagues are for cowards. Okay, I’m sorry, but leagues are for people who don’t have the courage to tell you that they don’t have feelings for you, or they’re too afraid to put aside certain beauty standards they’ve been taught, or they’re too scared to simply tell you how they feel, so it’s easier not to try. I know I’m coming into this guns a blazin’, but it’s true. I’ve seen it far too many times in my young life to back down about it now. 
2. There isn’t a single, solidified standard for beauty. Beauty is so varied, and it cannot just be whittled down to a single person or characteristic. The only defining things that matter when it comes to beauty are things like compassion and kindness; that’s the shit that matters. I don’t care what mascara you use, but I do care if you’re willing to donate to a good cause when you have a little extra. I don’t care if you use name-brand shampoo, but I do care if you treat good people like good people. I don’t care which Kardashian is your favorite (unless it’s not Khloe because you’re wrong), but I do care if you stand up for what is right and the rights of others in this biased world. 
3. Don’t judge a look by its cover. You legitimately have no idea what something is going through. The person who is laughing the hardest in the room might be struggling with horrific depression. The person you say is too skinny might not be able to gain weight or may be struggling every day with an eating disorder. The person who is teased for “out of style” clothing might not be able to afford anything else. On the flip side, you can’t judge people for their positive attributes either. The fat person who struts confidently into the ruin doesn’t have to be overcompensating or faking it. The person who openly talks about their struggles doesn’t have to be doing it for attention. The person who gets tattoos and piercings doesn’t have to justify it to you. The morale of the story is you have no right to judge people either way. We’re all guilty of it, but it doesn’t make it right. 

Now, I’m sure some people will call this entire blog post self-righteous. They’ll say I’m doing it for attention. They might even say I’m letting past experiences dictate what I’m writing now, but I can assure you I’m not. In the words of a good friend of mine, I’m just shooting my shot. 

In other words, I’m not going to be able to change the minds of people who don’t think my writing is genuine. I’m never going to be able to convince people I write for my own benefit. I’m never going to be able to convince people I’m comfortable in my own skin. The thing is, those who matter don’t have to be convinced because they simply know. I’ll leave everyone else with some words from Dolly herself: “Find out who you are, and do it on purpose.”