Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Is it even possible to simply like someone anymore? I mean a “check yes or no,” giggly and giddy, share your Snack Pack with, and tease them on the playground, like someone. (Judging by my comparisons, it’s been at least 15 years, and I clearly haven’t been on a real date since the second grade). No social media stalking. No immediate fears of the future. No uncomfortable scenes of getting to third base with them on a roller coaster while “Wild Horses” plays softly in the background. (Shout out to the one person who got that Fear reference). Is it socially acceptable to innocently like someone without any extensive prep work, or have we completely diluted the idea of liking someone down to a mixture of their social media presence, what everyone thinks of them based off of their profile picture/a couple of stories about them (all while maintaining a resounding chorus of “They’re cute, I swear!”), and whether or not they’re a cyborg like Ted in that one episode of Buffy?

This may be one of the most pretentious things I’ve ever written (pushes glasses up face with one finger), but I feel like we’ve become too advanced for our own good. Now, I know there are about a million things to prove my theory wrong, such as Dat Boi becoming a cultural phenomenon but just hear me out. When was the last time you liked someone and didn’t feel obligated to tell as many people as would listen? When was the last time you didn’t go through someone’s Facebook timeline or Instagram feed praying you didn’t accidentally click on something? When was the last time you didn’t jump the gun because you were too impatient to wait to see whether or not your crush liked you and made a move first? (I would say to join the club because we have t-shirts on that one but “making the first move and then instantly regretting it since 1992” is a little too cluttered to print on them).  I mean, think about how we jumped from passing notes in elementary/grade school to changing our Yahoo Messenger away messages or MySpace profile songs to passive aggressive song lyrics regarding the person you liked. Now, we let our fingers scroll through  our feeds without saying a word but rather using likes, comments, and loaded statuses to show how we feel. We’ve traded those stomach butterflies and dumb little heart flutters for Snapchats. We spend more time obsessing over who our crush dated in the eighth grade than actually taking the time to exchange dumb middle school dance stories with them.

I feel like we’ve gotten so focused on publicizing every step of liking someone that we’ve actually forgotten to take the time to let the universe take over and enjoy the delightfully fun and excruciatingly awkward ride.  Call it insanity, or call it my new philosophy of trying to let go, but I’m done letting my feelings for someone be synonymous with which celebrities they follow on Twitter. (Unless they’re following multiple fake celebrity accounts which should be a deal breaker). I’m done making a crush into a grandiose gesture where I bore my friends with the same stories over and over. From here on out, it’s between me and the universe. Here’s to hoping my avid re-watchings of Clueless where Cher doesn’t tell anyone liking Josh and it turning out well for her doesn’t let me down.