Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I have few negative college memories (like, I don’t know, the time I threw up a tofu sandwich while sobbing and choking out the phrase “I’m supposed to be a role model,” as my residents took care of me because I graduated in two weeks, so in a moment of panic, I consumed an ungodly amount of tequila). However, there’s one in particular I can’t shake. I was in one of my introductory Communication classes, and the professor had assigned the age old project where each person takes a chapter from the textbook and teaches it to the class. Everything was totally fine until one of my classmates gave their presentation. For the life of me, I couldn’t tell you her presentation topic, but for some reason, the topic of women in comedy was included. They quoted (I couldn’t find the actual quote for the life of me) the following sentence (and yes, this is a verbatim quote), “Women are only funny if they’re a Jew, dyke, or fat.”

Now, I immediately made one of my world famous shocked faces, and I looked to my classmates to back me up. The thing is, no one even flinched, not even my professor. No one helped me open a dialogue about a person has a right to choose their specific nomenclature. There was no real saving grace there, to me at least. The only thing that might, and I mean a giant MIGHT here, make their statement tolerable (to me personally) would be if they were giving some sort of satirical presentation to make a point about the inequality of men and women in comedy or how woman are portrayed in comedy, but they weren’t. They even followed up with, “I mean, I kind of have to agree with it” and refused to give any examples of female comedians that didn’t fit their given criteria.

Now, you might say I’m being hypersensitive, and I respect your opinion as well, but it’s something I remember word for word almost five years later, so it’s definitely something I have to talk about. Women have contributed so much to comedy. They’ve defined sub-genres. They’ve talked about (and continue to talk about) everything imaginable with no regret and have given voice to a variety of topics that a lot of people felt were taboo or were to afraid to be honest about. A lot of female comedians are actually my role models and inspiration because they taught me, a self-conscious writer, that it’s okay for my writing not to sound like everyone else’s and to not be afraid to be funny. All of my muses have different body types, sexual orientations, religious affiliations, and are of different races. Life experiences definitely hold a lot of clout when it comes to comedy because you talk and joke about the things you know, but I definitely don’t believe only certain traits make someone funny. Women are funny. Period.

I’m not here to completely shame someone else’s believes or mindset. If they legitimately thought those were the only things women could joke about or identify with to be funny, so be it. I just respectfully (and wholeheartedly) disagree. If you think I wouldn’t do the same thing if they were speaking poorly of male comedians, think again. I’d still be writing this same post, regardless of which gender they discussed. Call me old fashioned, idealistic, or an idiot, but I’ll feel good if at least one person realizes the importance of personal definition. Sure, we’re not going to solve all of the world’s problems with a blog post, but it’s a start. Making one person learn to be not only more respectful and thoughtful about their language but the actions and the words of others can have a a powerful effect; we just have to be willing to help them line up the dominoes (and, you know, not let Trump become president).

Quite frankly, I firmly believe you should let someone choose their own definitions, even for the most basic character trait. They are their own person, not an amalgamation of the things we see when look at them. We’ve all been given unique voice for a reason, so let it reflect in our individual language. It’s not right to lump everyone into the same categories because everyone isn’t the same. No two people are alike, so why treat them as such? However, if a female comedian does want to identify with any of the traits my peer mentioned, so be it! That’s the beauty of being open-minded and accepting. You let people identify how they choose, not how you see them.

Before I climb off my soapbox, I’ll leave you with this. How would you feel if you could only be defined by what others thought of you?