Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Life consists of picking and choosing your battles. KP always taught me to choose when and what to fight in order to save your strength for the battles that matter. Right now, I’m learning the significance of her words. Sometimes life is unfair and cruel, but without such struggles, we wouldn’t appreciate all of the good. Those beautiful moments of happiness would be completely devoid of meaning. There are times you have to give something every ounce of strength you have. You spend many nights lying awake thinking of what more you can do.

On the contrary, there are times to be still, be silent, and be thoughtful. This isn’t a sign of complacency or weakness. It’s a sign of intelligence and maturity. There are times to stand up, and there are times to lie down. There are times to fight and times to retreat. And I’m finally learning how to distinguish them.

I’ve always stood up for what I believed in. (Granted, my beliefs have evolved from throwing tantrums about having to shower/take off my ballerina tutu to signing Change.org petitions while listening to Fitz and the Tantrums). I’m not one to back down nor am I one to drop something. (My will might even rival the infamous one from Mommie Dearest). But I’ve learned to fight things, you have to refuse some battles. Sometimes life comes at you guns a blazin’ (that’s what kids are saying nowadays, right?), and you have to put yours back in the holster and walk away. By fighting everything, victories are fruitless. You stop appreciating the change you fought endlessly to attain. I think standing up for your beliefs takes an insane amount of bravery and confidence. You are vulnerable and fragile. You have no idea whether or not any of your actions will result in change. It’s disheartening and magnificent. There are times you want to cry and move to Portland. But you keep fighting. You will keep telling your story and hoping the same words somehow take on different meaning to each new person. You are blistered and calloused, but you don’t care. That’s why you have to save your energy for the fights that matter. That way, you have enough energy to put band aids on all of your battle scars.