Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I never thought the day would come, but I have finally rejoined the world of Tinder. I could totally lie and say it’s completely for writing material, and I probably should, but it’s not. It’s simply me wanting to see what’s out there. It’s also me not having enough time for dating and needing to be in a relationship that’s already about a year old. I still believe in organic love, and I’m still waiting for my rom com story arch (I’m still stuck on the ground level where the arch starts, but Katherine Heigl is for at least 30 minutes in every movie sooooooo), but curiosity has gotten the best of me. If I get any writing material out of this experience though, it’s definitely a bonus. With that being said, I’m finding some problems with Tinder I didn’t before that just so happen to make great and relate-able writing material.

First and foremost, let’s talk about the profile bio. My biggest problem is there seems to be a huge lack of originality. For example, I love The Office. In fact, it’s my favorite show of all time. While I am impressed that everyone knows the quote, “Bears. Beets. Battestar Galactica.,” it kind of becomes less impressive when it’s included in one out of every five profiles. Jim’s Dwight impression prank is classic, but show me you know more about the show. Also, stop putting some derivative of “If you love water, you already love 70% of me.” I’ve been back on Tinder for 24 hours, and I’ve already seen five of the BBBs and three of the water pick up lines. One of the main things I look for when swiping right is a profile description that makes me laugh. Just describe yourself. Say something original. I like to mix it up with a little of both. I talk about my passions and end with confessing I’m bad at not crying during the movie Casper. It’s funny, but it’s true. Shake it up, guys. (Note: I have a mash up of Mariah Carey’s “Shake It Off” and Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” now stuck in my head, and someone should actually make it a reality because it is truly glorious).

I don’t want this post to be entirely negative, so I would like to applaud the guys who message you to ask about something you mentioned in your profile. Even if nothing comes of it, I think packs more of a punch than a simple “Hi.” But also, don’t make me carry the conversation. If you don’t want to talk to me, don’t message me. I promise it won’t hurt my feelings. It’s frustrating though when you initiate the conversation, only to give me one-sided answer. Don’t call Mulder because I’m not going to probe you, kid. Let’s ask each other questions. I’m a huge cinephile (and no, that doesn’t mean anything dirty), so don’t be surprised if I ask you a lot of questions about movies. When it comes to the things in life I’m passionate about, one-word answers aren’t going to cut it, buddy. Just check out my blog.

I already have a million Tinder observations, and I’ve only been back on here for one day. Stay tuned for updates. Who knows? I might even find my Jim Halpert.*

*And he’ll know at least two more quotes from The Office.