Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I’d be lying if I said this was the first draft of this post. The first draft was angrily typed as a note on my phone and defended my latest article piece by piece. After having breakfast this morning with a new friend, I realized how silly it would be to post something that defensive and aggressive about my writing because, well, it’s my writing. I have as much as of a right to write all of my feelings down as those in the comment section of my article have to write theirs. It wouldn’t be okay for me to condemn them for their thoughts because almost 100% of my writing comes from my own opinions. That’s why I decided to write this post. This post is more my style. It’s meant as a classy way to justify my actions, explain where I am coming from as a budding writer, and defend myself in the Baillee MaCloud Perkins way of trying to be nice to everyone, regardless of their actions. I’m not one to spew out hateful insults. I don’t want to hurt others or make anyone feel attacked. I just want to let others know that I’m not perfect and that underneath all of my sassy faces and occasional zingers I do indeed have feelings (probably too many of them) and explain why I won’t be looking at comments anymore.

This is my first official paid writing gig. I’ve never worked for an online publication before, so I am bound to make mistakes. I’m nowhere near perfect nor is my writing, so I don’t claim to be. Yes, there will be occasional typos. Yes, everything I advise is based off of my own life, so not everyone can use it. Yes, I do actually need Netflix for my podcast, and cable is really expensive. But I still respect what others have to say. Without our freedom of speech, I wouldn’t be able to write articles that people can comment on. That’s why I’m pledging to stop reading the comment section, at least for now.

A friend once compared me to a Snickers bar; you apparently have to bite through the peanut crunch to get to the soft nougat in the center. The main take away here though is that I, in fact, have a soft center. I am a very sensitive individual, and this is the first time my work is being shared publicly on this magnitude. I’m not used to having strangers comment negatively and openly on my work. I’m used to texting my friends and family links and sharing my blog posts on Facebook to entertain those who know me and know my life. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t cry earlier when I disregarded the warning of several friends and read through some of the comments on my latest article. It hurt to read comments from people who don’t know my life, who were judging me and accusing me of lying and/or discrediting me because I simply use Netflix and Spotify yet claim to be poor. I almost let it ruin my entire morning. But then, a little angel Tweeted me, and it reminded me that there are good readers in the world. There are both negative and positive comments that will be written. Also, I was encouraging my friend to not care what people thought and realized how hypocritical I was being. I realized if I was going to give out this kind of advice that I needed to actually practice and apply it to my current situation.

That’s why, for the time being, I’m not looking at any comment sections. I’m ignoring all of the negativity. Writing is one of my biggest passions and has been for as long as I can remember. I’m happy, so I’m not going to let people bring me down. My friends and family will always support me, as will those who understand where I’m coming from and understand the struggles of having two parents on disability and a father with deteriorating health. So yeah, I do pay for Netflix and Spotify. And yeah, I do have tattoos. But you don’t see all of the money I constantly save. Or the fingernails that are bitten to the quick with worry. Or all of the extra jobs and shifts I pick up when I can, not to mention the base 40 hours I work a week. That’s why I’m pledging to not read the comment section until I’m ready. I spent years letting people mold my life and leave impressions of their own. It took me too long to get to the point where I want to share my writing with others. I’m not going to let some people who don’t know me define my writing, so I’m going to give them the same courtesy by not personally and maliciously attacking their comments.

All I am going to say is some have not gotten to the point where I am. They are fragile and vulnerable and are eager to share something they probably spent hours editing and re-writing and are more scared than you will ever know to release it. They are worried about what others will think of them. Their hands are shaking as they post their work. They might not have the support system some of us do and are trying to reach out for help. Think about that before you write some harsh words on their work. You never know who is on the other side of the screen.