Nobody puts baillee in the corner

This post may make some people mad. This post may make some people confused. This post may make some people unfriend me. But hopefully, this post makes some people happy. Straight is a relative term, and it’s about time we make it a relative twice removed. I’ve never been one for being placed in a definitive box, so my sexuality is not any different. I’m going to say something only a handful of people known: I might like boys and girls.

I’m not sure if I’m bisexual. I’m not attracted to any of my friends. I’m not experimenting. I fully identify as a female and do not identify as gender fluid, pansexual, or transgender. I appreciate the beauty of male and female. I guess for me, I don’t need a specific term and just see a person. I have had crushes and been attracted to girls before. I would like to go ahead and address something though. There is no need to be afraid of changing in front of me or worrying about me trying to get fresh with you. If you identify as straight, are you attracted to every single male or female you see? It works in my world too, people. My friends are like family, and I do not condone incest. Think of this period as one of self-discovery; however, instead of studying abroad on my parents’ dime or piercing my lip, I’m trying to figure out if I simply respect the beauty of the female form or actually want to date girls. I’ve never had a relationship or even kissed a girl, so I don’t have a definitive answer.

I still believe in God. I pray every night. I have a Bible on my nightstand. To be quite frank, I don’t think I’m going to Hell. I’m a good person, and I have actually prayed for God to take away any feelings for girls if they are bad, and well, they haven’t. They’ve been there since I had the Megan Fox Rolling Stone poster (yeah, you know the one) on my closet door when I was fifteen while I also dreamed of marrying John Krasinski and Alexander Skarsgard. They’ve been there when I’ve given a girl a fleeting glimpse and small smirk and then flirted with a guy a little bit later. They’ve been there for a long time. I don’t know if I’ll date a guy or a girl next. Hell, I don’t know what I’m eating for breakfast tomorrow. I’m just waiting to see what happens. I’ve gone back and forth for a while, so I’m finally ready to put it out in the universe. The Kinsey Scale is very real, folks. The idea of being 100% something is becoming more and more obsolete. People are finding better syntax to describe their preferences, some good and some bad.

We’re learning to love one another without labels. True love has few boundaries, so why are boundaries so abundant in our language? I’m not straight, but I’m not a lesbian. The term bisexual doesn’t sound right either. I know how to describe what I am: Me. Plain and simple. I’m the same Baillee you knew before you started reading this blog post, and I’ll be the same after. This is just another piece of my life I’m choosing to share with you. If you can’t handle that, I’m sorry. It was nice to meet you. Don’t tell me to pray for forgiveness. Don’t chalk it up to me living in Austin. I was attracted to both men and women when I was still living in a small town with a church on every corner. And for the record, if you’re going to start throwing those stones at me, make sure you reinforce your glass house first.

P.S. This is in no way attributed to Ruby Rose, although she is absolutely smokin’.