Nobody puts baillee in the corner

Lately, I’ve been dealing with a lot of big changes in my life. I’ve gotten a new boss, new roommate, new podcast, and soon, a new hair color. I have a couple of major decisions coming up that I’m not quite ready to share yet, but I promise I will soon. To put things simply, I’ve been struggling with the idea of adulthood. However, I’ve realized adulthood isn’t all that different from childhood.

When you’re little, you tend to not think before you make a decision. That’s how you break your arm from jumping out of a tree house by thinking you could fly, get a scar on your arm from horsing around with fireworks, or in my case, learn how to swim at two because you believe swimming is not taught but rather engrained in human DNA from birth. You decide to do something and then go for it. There are no pro/con list. There are no numerous chats over coffee or block texts yearning for just one more friend’s input. There are 2AM drunken voice mails to your mother. You simply set your mind toward something and fearlessly march on. This is where my childlike tendencies come in handy.

You see, I don’t tend to think before I do. Yes, I am very mature for my age. As Karen Perkins often says, I am an old soul. I had to grow up fast as a kid, but I fortunately did not lose my impulsive side. I have cut and dyed my hair with my best friend at 2AM after watching the Katy Perry movie. I have gotten my lip pierced three times just for the hell of it. Most applicable to my recent adult life, I quit the second job I had against the advice of almost everyone and become assistant manager at my current job in under a year. I’m glad that I can still change things of my life on a whim.

Don’t get me wrong. There are definite downsides. I cut my bangs too short. I almost ripped out my lip ring the final time I got it and had to take it out less than two days later. I lost a lot of financial stability. The good news is I learned something from all three scenarios. I learned to abide by the rule of HIMYM because nothing good happens after 2AM. Lip rings are a pain in the ass. Being poor and happy is a million times better than being rich and miserable. The important thing is that I went for all three things, and I learned something about myself in the process. I don’t have any regrets. I stay in after 2AM, my bangs grew out, and I no longer have to work at a grocery store. In retrospect, I would make all of the same decisions. I wouldn’t have grown or made it this far without making some mistakes along the way.

Not every action has to be 100% good or 100% bad. Some land in the middle. Some are a mixture of both. It’s not about the actions itself but rather your reaction. That’s why I’m about to dive headfirst without holding my nose or goggles about a major decision. I think it’s what is best for me, so I’m going for it. I love all my friends and family more than anything in this world, but at the end of the day, I’m the one who it on my conscious, not them. I’ve been getting signs lately that it’s the right thing to do, so I’m going to see what happens this week. Keep your fingers crossed, and don’t be afraid to dive in right beside me. The water’s fine.