Nobody puts baillee in the corner

I’ve tried blogging before, but it was premature. Good God, I’m rhyming straight out of the gate. This is off to a great start. I digress. I was practically in utero when I began my short-lived blogging career, so it was a bunch of jumbled complaints sprinkled with what I thought to be insightful quotes that were actually cookie cutter emo song lyrics written by musical conglomerates and allegedly misunderstood suburban kids with side bangs. After immersing myself in a quasi-adult world and listening to a lot of podcasts, I figured it was time to give this another shot. If Marc Maron can do it, man, then I can do it, man.

Before I start, I need to lay out some ground rules. First and foremost, I am happily employed, and I plan on keeping it that way. Thus, I am going to try to keep this as appropriate as humanly possible. If it ain’t necessary to the story, it ain’t being censored written. Secondly, I want to be very candid; however, there are certain aspects of my life I refuse to write about. These include work and any identifiable characteristics of those who weave in and out of my life. If I manage to go on a bad date, or let alone a date at all, I will not use specific names or places but rather vague details and clever pseudonyms.This will not only protect the innocent but also keep me from receiving strongly-worded Facebook messages. Lastly, I will not write about things people tell me in confidence. I’m not Gossip Girl, Perez Hilton, or Yik Yak. I’m here to speak candidly about my life, not the lives of others.

If you’re with me so far, I’m honored you paused Netflix long enough to scan through this or happy I could help you procrastinate on whatever you are supposed to currently be working on. So here goes blogging round two. Hello world.